I’m ready to leave

I have a confession to make. I have some strong opinions about some important matters, and I’m realizing that I have almost no power to do anything about making the world at large more to my liking. You’re probably thinking, “So, it took you eighty three years to figure that out, eh?” Well, no, I’ve been playing with that idea for a few decades now. But now, just at the age where my friends far and near really are “kicking the bucket,” as we old-timers used to say, I’m ready to admit it. It’s time for me to let go of this world and turn it over to the grandkids. And yet I don’t understand some of these just turning 20 types.

Case in point. If you’ve read this blog much, you probably know that I am the principal caregiver for my disabled partner, Stephen. We can’t get help any more that will come and reliably stay. We just lost our fourth home healthcare aide that came, looked promising, stayed a few weeks, and then left. But now get this. They didn’t just leave. They left without telling us OR the home healthcare the provider where they were employed that they were leaving. It left Stephen feeling rejected and depressed, and it left me pretty pissed off. But that apparently is the cynical attitude of relatively low paid healthcare workers now.

Now I am prepared to understand this new freedom to change your hours, conditions of work or job. Let’s face it, Democrats, Independents AND Republicans, you have done a rotten job of helping this segment of our population, though you viciously blame each other for the failure. I’m prepared to understand a labor revolt. I support labor unions and other creative ways of labor organization. I think I understand that many of these young workers have difficult and challenging lives of their own, and sometimes almost overwhelming problems to solve. And of course, not everyone emerges from their teens with a well-developed code of ethics in place.

But I am not prepared for a world where a young, apparently well-motivated and helpful person comes into your home and allows you to invest a lot of time and effort in training them for a demanding caregiving situation, where that person gives NO CLUE to either you or their employer that a problem is emerging, and then, one day, just does not show.

On reflection though, we did have a very inconspicuous clue about this last abandonment. So what happened was, we were expecting the caregiver, having been introduced to the job over a couple of weeks, to arrive on Friday for a longer stay. 9 o’clock came and went, no caregiver, we called the provider office, they hadn’t heard from the caregiver, who also had other clients, and they STILL haven’t heard from her. Stephen was understandably hurt by this even, and he had a realization. He had mentioned to the caregiver that two other health aides had just left without even saying goodbye. Stephen reminded me that the last thing the caregiver said over their shoulder as they walked out the door on Wednesday was, “Goodbye, Stephen.” And then I remembered that this had happened. He says that that was just plain mean.

Now bear in mind that we have now experienced this three times in a row. This is the world I am not prepared to accept. I can’t see any justification for one human being treating another one as a means to an end only, without regard for their personal feelings. If this is what the younger generation has to offer us, I don’t want to be around here much longer.

Now don’t get me wrong. As I said before, Stephen’s disabilities are a challenge, but we are relatively settled and accepting of our life in this retirement community. We have things to do and places to go, even if it is only out on the patio, and we definitely won’t be walking the Appalachain Trail. I am not suicidal; so do not pray for my safety. I’m ok, even if Stephen is still deciding whether to ever trust another helper. I’m just a little pissed. The philosopher Thomas Hobbes observed that life was nasty, brutish and short. We’ve mad a little progress on the length of life since Hobbes’ time, but we definitely don’t need a younger generation that is committed to making life nasty and brutish, even if they have been sometimes treated with indifference or disrespect by us.